Hello!
Again, my apologies for not blogging sooner. As you saw from my last post, life on staff with InterVarsity here in Detroit has been hard. And it is only a result of your prayers that God has freed me and lifted me up from my position of desperation that I wrote from last post. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers. I and the ministry here in Detroit cannot survive without them.
See, I had gotten to a point in my staff work where my usual method of using my brain and natural talents to get to where I want to be was not working anymore. I felt lost and confused, not having a clear sense of direction for where the ministry should go next. And in this place of desperation, I reached out to Jesus to help me, to release me from the constant burden of anxiety that seemed to stay with me wherever I went.
It was actually at our Fall conference, Compelling 09, that God met me and answered this prayer. He showed me that my need for control was preventing him from being the Lord of my life. He showed me that although I believed in my mind that my worth came from God’s unconditional love for me alone, I believed in my heart that my worth came from my achievements and the approval of people. He then moved me to release this burden and to accept the fact that I cannot control everything in ministry, nor should I try to. This will only burn me out and wear out my students. Instead, Jesus is waiting for me to simply seek him in prayer, to accept my limitedness as a human leader and simply follow him one step at a time into the big unknown that is college ministry.
I cannot tell you how freeing it was when God moved me to believe these words of healing in my heart. It was supernatural, and the peace that ensued goes beyond describing. I now realize that I don’t know what I’m doing exactly as a staff worker, but Jesus does, and that’s all I need to know. My mistakes and finiteness are insignificant in comparison to God’s grace, love, patience, and power that He will use to work through myself and my students to bring the gospel to the campus.
This story of healing that I have experienced fittingly goes along with exactly what we’ve been preaching to our students - step out in faith, and all your internal junk will come to the surface. let god deal with that, and then repeat with the next step. As I have stepped out in faith by moving to this brand new place with a new job and new everything it seems, this process has exactly happened in my life. I cannot wait to see what God has in store next!
Also, I should mention that a student in our chapter, Erin (2nd pic, left, name change for privacy), decided to return to Jesus and take the next step of placing her faith in Him at the Compelling conference a few weeks back. This is the exact kind of fruit that I have been praying for, and to be honest, God did this in her life through our WSU IV students and His Spirit. I really didn’t have much to do with it directly, which fits exactly with what God is teaching me now - He is big enough to do the work, I just need to trust Him instead of endlessly striving. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah. Hope to post more soon!
-Luke
2 years ago